Soon We'll Be Living in the Future
by WP
Summary: Set post season 5. Palex of course. Paige comes to a realization and goes about setting up a new future.
1. Chapter 1

-1**Soon We'll Be Living in the Future**

It had been a week since graduation. 8 days since she slept with Spinner and 9 days since Alex had broken up with her. She sighed into the mild summer's night air and took another sip of her drink. Lots of vodka and a dash of cranberry.

She was sitting alone on the small bench at the end of Heather Sinclair's yard. Sure, no one really liked Heather but she was throwing an end of year party, who would turn that down? It's not like she had anything better to do. She quit her job at the movie theatre. She showed up for work like normal the day after graduation and that was the first time it hit her; she and Alex were over.

When it happened, it sucked, she felt like she'd been winded and then after hours sitting in the Dot she kissed Spinner because he was familiar and she was freaked. She wanted to prove that Alex hadn't meant everything. That she could go back to her life before Alex. Before her life plan went so incredibly off track.

Then there was the sexuality freak out. She'd been quick to accept her attraction to Alex, despite being sure she was straight. But she hadn't been prepared to be freaked out by her orientation. However, right now, any doubts or fears about being with another girl were insignificant in comparison to how much she missed her.

Again she sighed and finished the rest of her drink. Between the alcohol and the dark sky her mind was definitely uncensored in it's misery. She'd seen Alex at graduation and they'd hugged, shared some kind words but since then, out of that unique environment they'd only seen each other twice and both times were cripplingly awkward.

Their relationship seemed to be completely out of bounds, like this 5 month gap that couldn't be acknowledged but was looming over them all the same. Not to mention everyone else acting strange around them. They had gotten used to the morphed Palex and now spent their time tiptoeing around the subject.

So, she had decided to try and escape them all for a while. Sitting outside, far enough down the yard that the lack of lighting made her essentially invisible, she tried to remember how to breathe without that nagging feeling.

Her head snapped to the left as she heard the back door click shut. She watched someone make their way down the garden to where she was slouched on the bench. She stayed perfectly still, not even breathing, in hopes that whoever it was would just turn back around and leave her alone in the dark.

But that didn't happen. She could now see who was braving the night to interrupt her. Ellie.

The redhead stopped in front of her offering her a plastic cup. "I come bearing gifts." She said cautiously. She let out a miniscule breath of relief when Paige took the cup from her.

"Good move." Paige said as Ellie perched on the other side of the bench. If she had the energy she would feel bad about how nervous Ellie seemed about talking to her. They weren't the closest of people but they were friends, they'd been through school together, faced some pretty major events together.

"Not feeling the party vibe?" Ellie asked in an attempt to spark conversation.

Paige let out a sarcastic laugh. "I just can't seem to find Heather Sinclair's Nazi like hostess act while tweaking on too much red bull inspiring."

Ellie nodded, "Ah yes, der fuehrer is overly concerned about rings on the table and crumbs on the carpet."

Paige sipped her fresh drink. "What's your excuse?"

Ellie was silent in the face of that question. After a few moments she built up the courage to answer. "Worried about a friend. A couple of friends actually." She glanced to Paige and saw that the blonde was simply waiting for her to continue, they both understood exactly who the two friends Ellie was talking about were.

"They were probably the most likable couple I've ever been around. Sure there was sometimes an abundance of PDA's but they fit each other perfectly. Then the future came in to it and they're suddenly broken up. Only it's not like they just got sick of one another or it really wasn't working out. Know how I know this?"

Paige shook her head.

"Your both miserable. I swear I can literally see the dark cloud over your head. You're a different person since you started dating Alex, your not some cheer-bitch, I don't think you ever really were but Alex brought the real you out and you made her better too. I've seen her twice since graduation, once she was so drunk all she could do was sob, the other she was so sad she could barely lift her eyes from her coffee."

Paige could barely hold eye contact, she wanted to just be back at home, sheets over her head. "She broke up with me."

"That's irrelevant and you know it." Ellie sighed and tried to reign in the harshness in her voice. "I've known you both for a long time before you ever got together and I've watched you both grow. Alex is scared and you know that… because you are too."

Paige felt her heart beating fast in her chest but the pressure was spreading and lessening. No one had ever called her on this, not even Marco. Who would've known that it was Ellie Nash who had her all worked out.

"I am. I'm terrified but I don't understand why." She sighed and with her eyebrows knotted swivelled to further face Ellie. "Dylan came out to me when I was like 11, my parents are liberal people, I never thought liking someone of the same gender was odd but I honestly thought I was straight, then Alex comes along and my entire life, everything I had planned out, got turned upside down. Only I didn't change my plans, I just expected her to follow me. Now, she's left me because of it. I don't know how I can tell her that I've never suffered as much as this last week. I never told her I loved her or anything close to that because I was scared of how real it'd make it."

"You still have time, you don't leave for Banting for months."

"But I do leave. If she won't come with me what am I supposed to do?"

"Whatever you have to. If Alex is as important as she seems to you, you convince her to go or you make a new plan, one with her and not for her."

"Your pretty insightful, Nash." Paige said quietly, her voice betraying her.

Ellie smiled, "I'm just returning the favour. You helped me out once when I really needed it."

Paige stood up leaving her cup on the bench. Leaning down she hugged Ellie, "Thanks for this. I'm gonna go home and start planning. Wish me luck."

"luck!" Ellie called as Paige power walked out into the street. Sighing to herself she felt proud. She'd been trying to console Alex all week but the only time she let her in was the one night she showed up at her house wasted. She knew Alex well enough to see that she was just scared, scared of everything Paige meant to her and what a future with her offered. Alex had written herself off long ago but Ellie knew that that was due to her upbringing, she knows the signs.

Heading back to the party she just hoped that the couple formally known as Palex would be ok.


	2. Chapter 2

**Soon We'll Be Living in the Future**

Part 2

Groaning she lifted a hand to her head. No sizeable holes or bruises. That meant the throbbing pain was inside her skull. Rolling onto her side she took a couple of deep breaths then braved opening her eyes. It was kinda dim in the room but still not dim enough. Squinting she looked around and after a second realised where she was.

"You never told me you snored."

Alex sighed. "Only when I'm drunk."

"Drunk doesn't even cover it." Ellie said as she passed Alex a litre bottle of water. "Drink that, it'll help."

"Thanks." She said as she took the bottle and dragged herself into a sitting position.

"So, have any memory of last night? Or just prefer that you didn't?" the red head asked.

Alex once again groaned as she squeezed her eyes closed in an attempt to fight off the imminent flashback to last night.

**O0Oo0Oo0Oo0Oo0O**

Alex was heartbroken. The best part? She'd broken her own heart. That first day when she got home to find Jay in her apartment she'd held it together but then Chad woke up and her mom came home and it all kicked off like usual but this day she couldn't take it so she'd left with Jay. She stayed with him for a few days and he was the perfect friend, he got her wasted. Each night they went to the biggest party then could find and Alex drank and danced and played cards, whatever she could to keep her mind off of Paige.

Perfect in theory, however, in practice she just felt worse and worse everyday. Then came the day she found out Paige slept with Spinner. It was such a perfect start to her night.

From that point she drank more and more until she couldn't take it anymore. She wanted to go to Paige, to fall to her knees and beg for a do over but at the same time she wanted to scream at her, ask her how she could do that. Or preferably punch Spinner in his stupid face.

As soon as she thought the phrase 'stupid face' she knew she was too far gone to do anything but cause a disaster. However, staying at some mystery party with randoms and Jay didn't seem so satisfying either. Home was out of the question.

As she took off down the street she headed to the only friend she could remotely trust with this.

Finally she was at Ellie's door. It was late and she wasn't completely stupid so she took out her cell and called Ellie's.

"Hello?"

"Hey, come to your front door." Alex said trying hard to keep her voice level.

"Ok." Ellie said as she hung up and promptly ran to the front door. Opening it she came face to face with a dishevelled Alex.

"Are you ok?" she instantly asked with worry.

Alex was looking her straight in the eye. "Not so much." The slight slur told her Alex was drunk. "I'm alone and she slept with him." Looking at her heartbroken friend with sympathy she ushered her inside.

With her arms wrapped around herself she turned to Ellie. "I can go, if your mom's around or your busy."

"Dad's home, he took my Mom away for a few days, it's ok you're here, I'm glad you are."

Alex was squirming, Ellie knew she wasn't the biggest sharer so she took her through to the living room and sat beside her on the couch. "Talk to me."

Alex's eyes were firmly locked on the table in front of her. "It feels like I'm dying. I kept thinking it'd disappear but it just get's worse the longer I'm not with her."

"Have you spoke to her about all this?"

Alex looked at her like she was an idiot. "When would I do that? Before or after she fucked Spinner?"

Ellie cringed. She watched Alex's eyes well up. "It doesn't even hurt more that she did. I can't hurt anymore than I am. Every second… every second I wish things were different."

The red head scooted over to Alex and hugged her. She'd known Alex long enough to know she was truly hurting to a) be talking about it and b) crying about it so she tried to offer as much comfort as possible.

After a few silent minutes and stunted breathing Alex pulled back and wiped her eyes.

"Are they back together?" She asked quietly, afraid of what the answer could bring.

Ellie shock her head. "No. Marco basically told me it was no strings, just sex. She's not interested in getting back with him. She's not all that ok either."

The red head was silent for a moment while she debated with herself. She didn't want to push Alex too far but she needed someone to just tell her it straight.

"Alex, don't take this the wrong way but you broke up with her. Pretty suddenly. She's obviously hurting too and sleeping with Spinner was her choice but I seriously doubt it ever would have happened if you were still together."

Alex let out a distraught sigh.

"I know I have no right to… I just miss her so much. She quit work. She's gonna go to Banting and I'll never see her again." Alex put her head in her hands. "I just want it to stop." She sobbed out.

Ellie rubbed Alex's back as she sobbed into her hands. She was shocked as Alex threw herself into her lap and gripped onto her knees. The red head felt the lump in her throat growing. She wished she could say something, give some serious words of wisdom but she was no relationship expert so she just continued rubbing Alex's back as she cried.

**o0Oo0Oo0Oo0O**

"prefer I didn't." She answered before downing a quarter of the bottle of water.

Ellie cringed. "Guess I shouldn't have posted that blog about yesterday then?"

Alex's head shot up way too fast for the first few moments of a hangover. And she found no humour in seeing Ellie grinning at her.

"Your so easy." She stood up and headed to the door. "Take a shower, I'll make coffee and eggs. I put towels in the bathroom for you."

"Ellie?" When she turned around Alex ditched her sarcastic comment. "Thank you."

The red head smiled. "Shower, Stinky."

20 minutes later and Alex made her way downstairs, hair still damp but feeling and looking a lot better. Well, her hangover was better. The pain in her heart hadn't decreased, nor her embarrassment.

"Hey, perfect timing. Sit down."

Alex done as instructed and Ellie placed scrambled egg on toast in front of her. "Thanks, you didn't have to do this."

"Couldn't let you suffer a hangover all day."

"Thanks." Alex said again with her mouth full.

"So, what are your plans for today?"

Alex shrugged. "Should probably catch up with Jay, didn't tell him I was leaving last night."

Ellie nodded then tried to subtly segway into what she was really trying to ask. "Maybe you should call Paige?"

Alex looked up at her. "Why would I do that?"

Ellie raised an eyebrow. "You love her, you miss her? She deserves to know that."

"No. I'm not a part of her future and telling her any of that will just make it worse." Alex said with certainty.

"But -"

Alex interrupted. "Ellie, leave it."

So she did. This obviously wasn't going to go anywhere so she decided to leave it alone - for now.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN**Hey guys, sorry for the slow updates, Uni's back so I can;t keep pretending I don't have a dissertation to do. This is the final part though, so no more waiting! Thanks to everyone who took the time to review, I appreciate it.

Part 3

Two days of excessive planning and organizing. One very tense afternoon of explaining to her parents why she had to go to the University of Toronto instead of Banting. She wouldn't be happy in Kingston; alone, Alex-less, without her friends, parents and brother.

After the initial shock and upset, her parents realised that her happiness was just as important as her education. Well, that and they both knew how determined their Paige was. At least both their children would be at the same University and close enough to home that they couldn't avoid bi-weekly visits.

So, first thing Monday morning she was waiting outside the applications office at the University of Toronto and two hours later, after some smooth talking and a copy of her transcript, she emerged as a member of the class of 2009, fully enrolled in the business department.

That was the easy part done.

Next she had to talk to Alex, tell her about the transfer, the changing of her plans in turn for a future together.

Taking a deep breath she pulled her phone from her pocket and text Alex. She tried to sound normal, not really knowing how she was supposed to act.

'Hey hun, coffee at the Dot?x' With that she smiled to herself and headed straight to the Dot. She had a good feeling about this. Things were going to be ok.

Just as she climbed into the car her phone beeped signalling Alex's reply - 'when?'

She felt her stomach flutter at that. A one word reply, all lowercase, so very Alex. She realised just how long the past week and a half had been with barely any communication. It had sucked and it was going to stop.

'Nowish? I'll be 10.x'

Then she was off, entering the Dot a painful 10 minutes later. She claimed the corner booth, otherwise known as the semi-private one and ordered herself a latte and Alex a plain black coffee. With impeccable timing Alex arrived at the same time as the coffee.

Paige waved to her before realizing she had a grin plastered on her face that may look odd if not creepy so she tried to compose herself.

"Hey."

"Hi, I just ordered you the usual."

Alex thanked her poured sugar into the cup.

"So, how's things in the world of Alex?"

Alex's eyes darted to her own, she knew the raven haired girl was trying to read her. After a moment Alex's frown ceased slightly.

"Uh, ok I guess. I'm thinking of going back to Degrassi and upping my grades." She said with a slight blush of embarrassment. Alex 'the badass' Nunez was voluntarily going back to High School, even she realised how weird it was.

"Alex! That's fantastic! Your going to kick ass this year, I know you can ace all those classes so long as your committed." Paige's beaming smile and high pitch voice caused her blush to increase but she couldn't help but smile.

"Yeah, well, If I don't do well the second time round I'm obviously the biggest dumbass ever."

Paige couldn't stop herself as she laid her hand over Alex's on the table top. "Nothing about you is dumb, Lex."

For a moment Alex lost herself in the warmth that spread like a sunrise from Paige's hand and through her body.

But no, that warmth was gone, it had to stay gone for both their sakes. Clearing her throat she slid her hand from under the blondes and sipped her coffee.

Paige tried not to feel the rejection of Alex quashing the contact between them.

"So, what's with the sudden coffee catch up?" Alex asked, intrigued as to how they could have been incapable of being in the same room less than a week ago and hanging out together at the Dot now.

Paige seemed flustered about her answer, her eyes were darting and her mouth twitched. Alex knew that meant she was deciding whether or not to tell the truth. She also knew that the former Spirit Squad leader would because ultimately the truth is all there is.

"You know why you broke up with me, I do too. You were scared, scared of us, of Kingston, of leaving the only place you've ever known. And I was scared too - too scared to admit that my entire life is changed because of you. My plan was completely useless because you weren't a part of it. But I'm done running away from this. I made a new plan, one that factors you in. I've transferred to U of T and Dylan and Marco are planning to get a house off campus, I thought we could move with them."

After that long steady speech Paige felt proud of herself. She hadn't gotten carried away or side-tracked. She just told Alex the complete truth. That she happily and willingly sacrificed Banting for Alex.

Alex couldn't move. Her brain was so overwhelmed by the information she just received that all that really stuck out were feelings. Pure undiluted joy being quashed by fear and guilt.

She'd tried, she'd tried so hard to stop this from happening. It'd been killing her since but she'd done it. And now, all of that pain and brooding and loss was for nothing.

She sprang to her feet and clumsily barged her way out of the booth and straight out the door. As she stepped onto the street a hand grabbed her shoulder, spinning her around.

"That's it? You run out on me?" Paige was looking at her with a furrowed brow.

Looking at the blonde she considered her options but before she could stop herself she was shouting, "You idiot!"

Paige was taken aback by that outburst and physically stepped back.

"You had it made! You were going to go to Banting in the fall to have this fairytale co-ed experience and get a great job in some city. You were gonna make it. That's why I broke up with you, so you'd get it right, so I wouldn't fuck it up for you too." Alex's voice had went from angry to breaking in a sentence.

Paige felt the lump in her throat rise. She tried to not believe that Alex actually saw herself as someone destined to fail, someone completely resigned to being nothing. But ultimately she did and Paige couldn't ignore it anymore.

"Your going back to school to get the grades you need to get into University. Your on the same track as me, you'll be just as successful. Stop hiding behind your mother's life. Stop being the martyr and start living."

Paige stood in front of Alex and as the words escaped her mouth she began to dread the next 30 seconds. She waited for Alex to either verbally or physically slap her.

Then came the impact. It almost knocked her on her ass but instead of an open palm it was from Alex throwing herself into her. She almost buckled but somehow managed to keep them both upright.

After the initial shock she let her arms wrap around Alex who currently had her in a death grip. She didn't think it was possible for someone to hold onto her this tightly.

It scared her. In this moment it became obvious, Alex needed her. She needed someone to believe in her, give her hope and actually voice that genuine confidence in her.

Alex meanwhile, was trying to burn the scent of Paige into her brain. Just in case. When Paige had finally given her the ultimatum of 'give up or make a life' she had automatically decided to walk away, hide from Paige till she got bored or moved on.

And as her brain told her feet to move her heart wouldn't stand for it. Too much pain and withdrawing. It was time for it to end. So, she made the snap decision and changed her momentum, essentially bowling into Paige.

Now she was stuck with a whole new dilemma. How to get out of this with some dignity? As she ran through the possibilities, none of them left her without red cheeks so she decided that maybe it was time her Pride took a back seat.

Prying her arms from around Paige just enough to be face to face with her, she wore her flushed cheeks with honour.

As she looked into Paige's eyes she remembered that there was no need to be embarrassed, there was no need to be anything but thankful.

Her husky voice rid her of any remaining fear. "How's this for Living, Michalchuk."

With that she closed the minute distance between her lips and Paige's and let herself get lost for a moment. After all, she had a life to get started on. A life with Paige.


End file.
